Saturday, June 12, 2010

Winning With Men

Imagine having 11 eager men listening to your every word with rapt attention--ready to pour every ounce of their energy and intelligence into doing anything you ask. Now imagine dozens of other fit, brilliant guys standing in line, fighting for a chance to play for you. Finally, imagine that you are not fantasizing.
Every football coach knows the excitement of leading eleven devoted men. And any woman at any age in any shape or size can do the same. You can turn that dream into reality. All you need is a game that men want to play, along with ten patterns of communication--call them transformers--that coaches use to bring out the best in men.
By now you have probably begun to suspect that whining, bitching, complaining, criticizing and blaming aren't winning men over to your side. You can slander them, cry about them, dramatize your conflicts with them, gossip about their bad qualities, make them wrong, and even hire lawyers to trap them into doing what you demand. But if you want them to give you their strength, their support, and their resources you will have to learn to command them and challenge them the way professional coaches do.
In these times coaching has spread beyond the football pitch and into the game of business and the game of life. I was one of the first business coaches in Europe, and I personally know hundreds of terrific coaches that have entered the field over the past three decades.
Today I only know about a half-dozen women coaches that have learned how to recruit players, build teams and win games. Only rarely do you find a female coach that can set aside her cultural resentment.
Feminine communication patterns contain highly complex algorithms that men cannot grasp. So if you want to win men over to your game, you have to master their codes of speech and action. Fortunately, that is as easy as becoming a sports fan, at least long enough to see what all the excitement is about.
The World Cup started this week, if you are ready to write a new chapter with men, you might want to catch a game or two. Examine the rules, the penalties, and the code of honor that makes up the game. If you want to go further and learn how to get men to talk to you, stay tuned for the commentators and coaches as they discuss their strategies for helping men overcome their weaknesses and cooperate in complex strategies that earn vast amounts of money.
You might think that grown men kicking a ball around is stupid--and you are certainly right. But then, you can be right or you can be rich. If you are willing to get past your opinions and learn the rules and codes of play, you can attract great men, organize them into dynamic teams, and inspire them to achieve honorable goals that bring you the money and the happiness you desire.
Excerpt of the upcoming How to Talk to Men book.