Monday, September 7, 2009

How To Talk to Men - Cultivating Desire

Desire is the primal, magnetic force that bonds men and women. You are your most authentic, fascinating self when you are alive with desire. Every man has a powerful, innate response to the pleasure of a woman. When you are “on”, your laughter, your movements, and your voice are like honey to the bee. No matter what age or stage of life you are living, you can cultivate the desire that makes you attractive to the opposite gender.

Men are trained from early on that desire is the core ingredient in winning. Every aspiring athlete can quote the coaches who turned him on to the importance of desire. Guys tend to be less ashamed of their desires. But few women have embraced their lusty, forceful nature. You know their names--Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Paris Hilton. The boldness of these iconic figures flows directly from their ability to feel comfortable with going after what they want.

What you say to men and about men is less important than the energy behind it. When your words flow from your vital force, your speech has power. Cultivating desire flies in the face of tradition. Religion, education, and media demonize the fulfillment of desire and lionize delay of gratification.

Seduction is the suppression of desire. Seduction can be fun when people use it with others to create a feeling of need or longing. But those power hungry organizations use seduction to capture and control human attention. They survive by promising something later for those who forgo pleasure now. Religion offers heaven. Education promises the status of a degree. Media promises suspense and romance.

Watching other people pretend to enjoy passion can never replace real-time pleasure. True enjoyment of the senses requires profound relaxation and release from stress and strain. Breaking free from the masculine-oriented culture of hard work and strenuous effort requires a special kind of discipline. You have to focus on the activities that ease your breathing and make you visibly glow with aliveness. Lightness of being releases endorphins that erase fear and pain, as well as ocytocin than opens your heart. As you learn to follow your feminine nature, you find the inner peace that marks the domain of women. Sensual delight soothes the emotions and awakens the senses. As your mind clears, you begin to feel the warmth in your heart and the fire in your belly.

To exchange pressure for pleasure, you have to schedule plenty of rest and recreation. Let go of false goals that enslave your attention. As you learn to make vitality your most important priority, your increasing aliveness casts men in a new light. Along side their brutal nature you begin to sense the deeply protective quality that brings you together. You remember how easy it is to win their cooperation. When you bring your sweet nature into your relationship, petty quarrels dissipate. Connection expands and boundaries dissolve. There is no man. There is no woman. There is only human--being infinite love.

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