Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Evolution of Shopping

In olden times women had few shopping options. They gathered berries and roots while they waited for their men to bring home a dead animal. When the smelly hunters returned with the bloody carcass, the women gathered around the fire to knaw off the layers of fat from the furs so they could have new outfits. There were no undergarments from Victoria’s Secrets in those days, so they went naked beneath the animal skins.
As they chewed the fat off the pelts, women chatted about current events—will Grog stay with Bertha, or is she leaving him for Brutus. Ever since that time we have referred to gossip sessions as “chewing the fat”.

Later generations of women evolved to knitting cotton and weaving wool. Along with the occasional fur, they could produce pullovers, baby booties, and basic undergarments—mostly beige. Stitching was faster and easier than waiting around, so styles changed more often. As they weaved and knitted, the women began to speak in earnest—mostly about Earnest. They spoke frankly, mostly about Frank. Women have been talking about men ever since.

Barely three centuries ago women demanded more options, so men invented looms to create cheaper clothes. The industrial era created an endless supply of garments, so women invented cafes and salons where they could drink coffee and talk about men from morning to night. Then they created ½ off sales.

Fast forward to today. Now we have H&M, Zara, and Wal-Mart. Chinese machines build clothing so cheap that you only have to wear it once. But how could women show each other all the cute things they were purchasing? One guy invented the Internet and another created Facebook so that women could all spend nearly every moment talking trash about men, complete with photos and accidentally released sex videos.  The gossip grew salacious and ubiquitous. Then it grew boring.

Finally a few women got tired of talking trash about men and started using all the new inventions to create their own businesses. They began using media to build fantastic business webs, like giant spider webs that move money and fashion around the globe at light speed. The shopping possibilities became endless.

Then in 2012—12/12/12 to be exact—Mia Sage unleashed How to Talk to Men. Women had been talking about men for thousands of generations. Suddenly they had a new language that enabled them to talk to men.
No one knows how this will turn out, what with men opening their businesses and their wallets to women. Will we achieve global wealth? Will high fashion invade every village and hamlet on earth? Will the billionaires of the future be mostly women?
Our species has enjoyed many breakthroughs over the eons, but none as significant as this. With conversation comes peace—the end of the age-old war between the sexes.
You might want to check out the Christmas sales at Macy’s, and then pick up a copy of Mia’s new book so you can see what everyone is talking about.
PS. Be sure to attend the HTTTM Launch Party, December 12. You can drive in, fly in, or Skype in to share a toast a have a few laughs with the global team.

Friday, September 3, 2010

How to Hold Your Man

A few million years ago our great, great…grandparents invented chiropractic. Within a generation or so, our knuckles barely dragged the ground.

But walking upright tilted our pelvises, so our babies stayed in the womb longer and grew big heads with more brain capacity. Elvis Presley tried to reverse this trend in the 1950’s by swaying his hips all over the place, but even lyrics like “you ain’t nuthin’ but a houn’ dog” couldn’t reverse all those eons of evolution.

As mothers learned to keep their babies at home longer, they didn’t have much time for gathering nuts and berries, let alone joining the men to hunt for new furs. Before they preferred men that would come and go. But with dependent infants to feed they began to select mates that help with the care and feeding. So they began devising strategies to hold men around the cave a bit longer—at least until college tuition got paid.

We must have been nomadic in those times, because most of the strategies revolved around travel.

One strategy was the hunting trip. The women of the tribe sent their mates off to stake out distant watering holes where they could find bigger game. Some traces of this masculine behavior remain until the present day, but most men only get as far as some watering hole known as Joe’s Bar.

Women that wanted more quality time with the family created the road trip. But that strategy was flawed by the lack of back seats and computer games to keep the children occupied during the journey.

The greatest breakthrough came when wise women created the guilt trip. One certain way to get a man back home with groceries and dead animal skins was to induce the men to shame one another. This tactic worked wonders with men that wanted to look good in the eyes of the community. But some guys walked in single file so long that they developed an inordinate affection for the backsides of their buddies. Politicians worldwide are still sorting through that conundrum.

The jealousy trip also worked wonders. Absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder, but it did make the rod grow harder. Men returned from even the briefest of jaunts with 300% more sperm. They got back even quicker when they realized that their best friend Bob had decided to skip dear season that year and hang around at the base camp with the wives.

The cleverest of the women designed the head trip—a method of debate with no aim, no rhyme, and no reason. Men couldn’t resist the argument, so they rushed home to participate in the next round. But the guys could never win the arguments because they were mentally restricted by a powerful need to make sense.

Men that couldn’t or wouldn’t hunt often remained in the settlements with the women. Those guys evolved into lawyers and priests so they could help the girls design ever more elaborate schemes. Their collaboration brought us the religious trip, the marriage trip—also known as the honeymoon—and the divorce trip.

These games worked fine for centuries, until they were dissolved by the acid trip in the 60’s. Also known as the hallucinogenic trip, this particular journey gave women the illusion they didn’t need a man, and gave men the feeling that they were golden gods.

Today we face all new relationship challenges because Facebook, Match.com, and Internet pornography require the use of complicated machines. SKYPE sex has replaced psychic sex and phone sex, but video liaisons require hotspots where men and women can connect naked. So few modern relationships last very long.

But if your primordial brain and your medieval heart are still determined to capture and contain one man to have and hold as your very own, you might have to invent some new trips to pull his interest away from those video games and Internet babes.

Fortunately one thing has remained steady and stable throughout the history of husbandry. The way to a man’s heart has never been through his stomach. So if you can’t afford that marvelous Sharpe’ puppy and are willing to settle for a man, you can capture his attention and hold his interest by just aiming a little lower.

Remember: When a woman isn’t frigid, her man is always rigid. And what man wants to go outside with that bulge in his Bermudas?

Perhaps your only problem is that you are Miss Informed because you have been told that a good man is hard to find. It’s closer to the truth that a hard man is good to find.

As a professional coach I often recommend a new holding strategy based on a black leather couch and a really large flat screen TV. You might find football season exasperating, but you will always know exactly where to find your man.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Winning With Men

Imagine having 11 eager men listening to your every word with rapt attention--ready to pour every ounce of their energy and intelligence into doing anything you ask. Now imagine dozens of other fit, brilliant guys standing in line, fighting for a chance to play for you. Finally, imagine that you are not fantasizing.
Every football coach knows the excitement of leading eleven devoted men. And any woman at any age in any shape or size can do the same. You can turn that dream into reality. All you need is a game that men want to play, along with ten patterns of communication--call them transformers--that coaches use to bring out the best in men.
By now you have probably begun to suspect that whining, bitching, complaining, criticizing and blaming aren't winning men over to your side. You can slander them, cry about them, dramatize your conflicts with them, gossip about their bad qualities, make them wrong, and even hire lawyers to trap them into doing what you demand. But if you want them to give you their strength, their support, and their resources you will have to learn to command them and challenge them the way professional coaches do.
In these times coaching has spread beyond the football pitch and into the game of business and the game of life. I was one of the first business coaches in Europe, and I personally know hundreds of terrific coaches that have entered the field over the past three decades.
Today I only know about a half-dozen women coaches that have learned how to recruit players, build teams and win games. Only rarely do you find a female coach that can set aside her cultural resentment.
Feminine communication patterns contain highly complex algorithms that men cannot grasp. So if you want to win men over to your game, you have to master their codes of speech and action. Fortunately, that is as easy as becoming a sports fan, at least long enough to see what all the excitement is about.
The World Cup started this week, if you are ready to write a new chapter with men, you might want to catch a game or two. Examine the rules, the penalties, and the code of honor that makes up the game. If you want to go further and learn how to get men to talk to you, stay tuned for the commentators and coaches as they discuss their strategies for helping men overcome their weaknesses and cooperate in complex strategies that earn vast amounts of money.
You might think that grown men kicking a ball around is stupid--and you are certainly right. But then, you can be right or you can be rich. If you are willing to get past your opinions and learn the rules and codes of play, you can attract great men, organize them into dynamic teams, and inspire them to achieve honorable goals that bring you the money and the happiness you desire.
Excerpt of the upcoming How to Talk to Men book.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

How To Get What You Want from Your Man

Men are delightfully simple creatures that respond beautifully to kindness and affection. You can easily get them to do good things for you by simply playing with them. Mia Sage shows you the steps in the dance of getting your way with loving-kindness.

1. Get His Attention

2. Make Him Curious

3. Turn On the Magnets

4. Turn Up the Heat

5. Give Clear Instructions

6. Open Your Heart

7. Make a Connection

8. Close the Sale!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Let Your Heart Do the Talking

Men are animals. Well, technically, all people are members of the animal kingdom. And like all animals, humans respond more deeply to touch and movement than to words. That is why it is often better to use loving touch when you want to get through to your man.
Women frequently complain that their men won’t talk to them. What they mean is that men don’t talk like women. When women get together they seem to easily find words for how they feel. Men seem more likely to clam up.
In my experience men love to talk. They long to share their feelings. But they fear harming the ones they love. Their protective nature often makes them choose silence as a strategy to avoid conflict. Silence is our way of restraining our killer instinct. Men are born to protect their families by fighting. Our ancient brains evolved to insure the survival of our women and children on the savannah. Even today little boys imagine sticks as swords and fingers as guns. We nurture a deep secret need to be heroes to those we love. But we never want our capacity for violence to injure those we love. So we hold back our feelings to avoid escalating conflict that could bring out the fighter.
When we train courses for women they tend to listen carefully and play along to see what they can pick up. Men’s courses are different. Most guys prefer to argue and to challenge every word, as if talk were an attack. The difference is striking. Women use words to gather information. Men use words as weapons to claim territory for the hunt.
So, ironically, if you want to speak intimately with your man, you might want to try not speaking at all until you have soothed him with soft sounds and gentle caresses. Gentle touch creates gentle men. Quiet, receptive words assure your man that the battle is over--he can surrender into your loving appreciation.
I grew up on a farm, so I learned early that you calm animals with the voice and the hands. “Easy, easy now”, my grandfather would say before he opened the stall on a mad or scared bull. A few years later I noticed myself responding to that very same approach.
Beneath the surface, men are the romantic ones. Your man wants to deepen his love and affection with you. Harsh tones transform him into a mad beast that views you as the enemy. Warm tones transform him into a man who will eagerly take on any challenge on your behalf.
You can transform your man into the person with whom you want to spend your life. Just remember to open your heart before you open your mouth. Bathe your guy in soft, sweet energy. Use your hands to mold his body and mind into the beautiful creature you enjoy.
If you domesticate a man you will soon grow tired of him. Learn to transform him instead by embracing his wild nature, and then winning his willing compliance. Develop voice tones and qualities of touch that soothe the savage. Show him by example how to put away his word weapons and merge into the oneness that fills your home with happiness.

Monday, September 7, 2009

How To Talk to Men - Cultivating Desire

Desire is the primal, magnetic force that bonds men and women. You are your most authentic, fascinating self when you are alive with desire. Every man has a powerful, innate response to the pleasure of a woman. When you are “on”, your laughter, your movements, and your voice are like honey to the bee. No matter what age or stage of life you are living, you can cultivate the desire that makes you attractive to the opposite gender.

Men are trained from early on that desire is the core ingredient in winning. Every aspiring athlete can quote the coaches who turned him on to the importance of desire. Guys tend to be less ashamed of their desires. But few women have embraced their lusty, forceful nature. You know their names--Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, Paris Hilton. The boldness of these iconic figures flows directly from their ability to feel comfortable with going after what they want.

What you say to men and about men is less important than the energy behind it. When your words flow from your vital force, your speech has power. Cultivating desire flies in the face of tradition. Religion, education, and media demonize the fulfillment of desire and lionize delay of gratification.

Seduction is the suppression of desire. Seduction can be fun when people use it with others to create a feeling of need or longing. But those power hungry organizations use seduction to capture and control human attention. They survive by promising something later for those who forgo pleasure now. Religion offers heaven. Education promises the status of a degree. Media promises suspense and romance.

Watching other people pretend to enjoy passion can never replace real-time pleasure. True enjoyment of the senses requires profound relaxation and release from stress and strain. Breaking free from the masculine-oriented culture of hard work and strenuous effort requires a special kind of discipline. You have to focus on the activities that ease your breathing and make you visibly glow with aliveness. Lightness of being releases endorphins that erase fear and pain, as well as ocytocin than opens your heart. As you learn to follow your feminine nature, you find the inner peace that marks the domain of women. Sensual delight soothes the emotions and awakens the senses. As your mind clears, you begin to feel the warmth in your heart and the fire in your belly.

To exchange pressure for pleasure, you have to schedule plenty of rest and recreation. Let go of false goals that enslave your attention. As you learn to make vitality your most important priority, your increasing aliveness casts men in a new light. Along side their brutal nature you begin to sense the deeply protective quality that brings you together. You remember how easy it is to win their cooperation. When you bring your sweet nature into your relationship, petty quarrels dissipate. Connection expands and boundaries dissolve. There is no man. There is no woman. There is only human--being infinite love.